We all fear the Polka Dot Man
by Frightmancer
Summary: Abner Krill was once a member of Batman's rouges gallery...now he meets with the other rejects every thursday.


**Well this is going to be interesting. Before you ask yes, they're may be some slight inspiration from the work of nick spencer but trust they're both going to be quite different. I don't own these characters, no one wants to own them anyway. For anyone confused the main characters are the villains Polka Dot man, Eraser, Signalman, and Ratcatcher. So anyway, I hope you enjoy.**

 **Chapter one**

This may not come as a surprise to you but there are quite a few bars in Gotham. Seedy, low down establishments where the worst of the worst go to get fucking hammered. So at first glance the Devil's eye a drinking establishment on South Way appears to be just another place for criminals to get drunk. However, if you look a little closer you'll see something just a bit different, but I'm getting a little ahead of myself. Forget the Devil's Eye for a second, this is Abner Krill. He's ordinary enough looking guy by Gotham standards, a bald middle aged man minding his own business on the streets of Gotham. The only odd thing being where he's heading: The Devil's Eye. Now as this man walks in people start to speak up.

"Hey, guy's krill's back!" A thug looking guy yells. the room suddenly fills with noise.

"Krill!"

"Fuck yeah!"

"Glad to have you back!"

After a while the clatter of voices die down, except for one table. Abner walks over and sits down.

"Hey Abner good to see you back." A man says shaking Abner's hand.

"Good to see you too Lenny. the rest of you on the other hand-" Abner was quickly cut off by a voice.

"We get it I'm an asshole just get to the point." Another man said.

"What point?" Abner asked confused.

"How did you get back in prison? No one who knows around here is fessing up, so how the hell did you get in the hole?"" The man questioned. Abner grew a bit red.

"Ok, but can you not laugh it's a bit embarrassing." Abner said.

"Sure, thing we'll give it our best shot." Lenny responded.

"Ok so I'm outside the jewelry store, right? I'm all dressed up and everything got to look good to be the polka dot man. I walk in with nothing but myself, a crowbar and a loot bag and ask them for all jewels that'll fit in the bag." Abner told

"Hold on a second what happened to your high-tech suit why would you need a crowbar?" A man asked.

"Easy Phil Because I couldn't afford to keep it running so I just painted a white outfit with spots. Any more questions or can I continue." The table fell silent. "Good, so as I'm getting the jewels I hear a siren so I start rushing things into the bag and prepare to dash. Except just as I'm about to scramble, I realized I dropped a necklace so I attempt to reach for it as I run away. The momentum of my feet combined with my rapid change in movement path caused me to carry myself to the ground in an unpleasant manner." He explained.

"So, in other words you tripped, ha ha ha." The third man laughed.

"He was probably up all night trying to come up with a better way of saying it." Phil quipped through laughter.

"Hey, whose story is this?" The table quiets. "Good so as I was saying I fell and the contact with the floor made me begin to pass out. The last thing I see is Batman...just shaking his head. After that I was carted off to prison when-" Abner was cut off

"Hold on, hold on we're not letting you pass over that bit. The Batman, dark knight, defender of Gotham felt bad for you!" Phil said beginning the train of laughter again.

"That's as bad as the first time he messed with the bat. What did he say something like: right on the dot _-_ " Lenny started.

"-you must be seeing spots mister polka dot! Ha ha ha!" Lenny, Phil and the third man laughed in unison.

"Ok first of all Lenny you used to wear a bucket on your head, second Otis your best friends are rats, and Phil... I don't even know where to start with you." Abner criticized.

"What about me!" Screamed Phil head changing several different shades.

"Signalman is by far the lamest idea at the table, who told you covering yourself in traffic signs and tarot cards would make you look good?" Abner asked

"Yeah well at least I'm not a complete laughing stock." Phil said. Growing visibly more enraged.

"Who told you that?" Abner questioned.

"You're Corny!" Phil insulted

"Well you're a riddler rip off!" Abner counterattacked.

"Why I oughta-" Phil began to pull back his punch.

"Excuse me! This is a stick up give me all of your pennies!" A stranger said pointing what appeared to be a squirt gun at the table.

"Oh god, Joe not this again. Have you been taking your pills?" Lenny asked.

"No! They don't work and it's not Joe it's the Penny Plunderer! Now give me your pennies!" Joe rambled.

"Now Joe, you know how the eye works no villain stuff around it brings bad press. Tell you what take some of your medication and I'll give you the pennies, that work for you?" Lenny questioned.

"Fine! But the plunderer will return!" Joe yelled running out the door loose change spilling from his pockets.

"See now I hope after that experience you've resolved your differences?" Lenny wondered.

"I suppose." Abner answered.

"If that's the right answer." Phil responded

"Good. All right then Abner anything else you're curious about around here? What's changed or what's different?" Lenny asked. Abner thought for a moment finally responding.

"Just one thing are they still here?" Abner questioned.

"Who?" Lenny said confused.

"The league of losers are those jokers still here?" Abner interrogated.

"We couldn't get them to leave. It's gotten so bad they got a new member." Phil told.

"Oh yeah, who's that? Condiment King?" Abner guessed.

"Yep." Otis responded.

"Oh come on, I Was kidding! They actually got the Condiment King!" Abner says in shock.

"Yep again, there he is over at table six." Otis confirmed. Sure enough when Abner looked he saw the usual suspects, Crazy quilt, the Ten Eyed Man, and sure enough Condiment King.

"Shit you're right, how's that working out for him?" Abner wondered.

"Surprisingly worse than you'd expect, he's quickly become the group's punching bag even more than Karl." Lenny explained. Suddenly Abner lit up with energy.

"Karl Kyle is here! I didn't see him!" Abner exclaimed.

"Yeah he's back there but I wouldn't do it." Lenny urged

"Eh I'll risk it. HEY KARL SUCK MY DICK!" Abner screamed and for a moment it was quiet throughout the Devils Eye a moment that ended almost instantly with-

"Fuck you!" Karl shouted across the room.

"Get in line!" Abner quipped. Just another average night at the least lethal bar in Gotham, the Devil's eye.

Meanwhile in a far wealthier in appearance building a man is having a rather important conversation.

"What do you mean you lost it! Do you realize how important that was! What'll you do if someone finds it?! Now get back to work on finding it!" The man ranted slamming the phone down. "Ugh...I hate to say it but the box is probably long gone. Someone needs to take the fall...but who? I need someone not to smart but smart enough and with just enough of a criminal record that it would fit. The guy finds the box we confiscate the important parts and he goes off to prison for ten to twenty." Suddenly an idea struck him. "Perhaps one of my prior investments could be of some assistance." The man said and began to look over the details of the Devil's eye.

 **Well I finished I suppose next chapter might be a bit longer than this one or it might not...bantery stories are hard to make lengthy. Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed that and if you really liked it why not leave a review. I'm out.**


End file.
